"There's Always a Woman" is the 93rd episode of Desperate Housewives.
Susan’s talking about her problems with Jackson -- with her new painter Frank. He thinks she should call Jackson. Susan arrives at Jackson’s apartment. She lets herself in; the shower’s running. She takes off her clothes to surprise Jackson in the shower but she’s in for the surprise as there’s a woman there. Susan gets shampoo thrown in her eyes, and as Susan flails about, she accidentally knocks out the naked woman. Susan’s with the now conscious woman, who IDs herself as Susan. Darcy, the woman, says she hooked up with him at a club. Jackson enters and freaks. She wanted to talk about their future…til she met the woman. She walks out. Susan talks to Jackson. She doesn’t think love is her friend, after two marriages. He didn’t have a girlfriend til Susan. She wishes they could start over…could they start over? He walks out. She gets a call on the phone from Jackson, who pretends he only met her once before and wants to have dinner with her. They make a date.
There are dangerous women, Mary Alice tells us. We meet Anne Schilling as she tells Tom she’ll make him happy. Lynette sees Tom talking to her and she’s suspicious. The woman and Tom show Lynette into a space that’s for Tom to rent for his band. Since Anne's a realtor, Lynette’s okay with this. Lee shows up with some alcohol for him and Lynette to share. Porter and his friend Kirby are heading out; we learn Kirby’s mom is Anne and that he has a futon at his band space. Lee insinuates that Tom’s having an affair… Lynette calls Tom who says they’re going to practice for a couple more hours. But she looks out the window and sees some of the men coming home. She heads to the rehearsal space and finds him -- playing a video game! She thinks he’s having an affair. He can’t believe she’d think he’d have an affair with Anne or anyone. He’d dump the band and all of that if it’s affecting her. Tom sees a condom and makes sure that Lynette doesn’t see it. Lynette thinks Tom’s been antsy all night; he’s going down to his restaurant to check something quickly. Elsewhere, Anne Schilling is with . . . her lover, Porter! He freaks out and goes to see his dad, who confronts him over the condom. Porter keeps his dad from seeing Anne who flees out the back. Lynette sees Anne fleeing from her car. Tom’s bringing Porter home. He doesn’t think Porter’s emotionally ready for sex. Porter joins Anne Schilling in her car. He thinks she’s worth the trouble. They kiss. Lynette packs clothes in a suitcase.
Bree’s in her office. Orson had a call from an old friend, Peter, who wants him to cater something. Bree’s excited. Orson’s done a lot of work and Bree suggests Katherine take the afternoon off. Katherine clearly feels left out. Bree talks to Katherine, who reveals she’s thinking of moving to Maryland to be with Dylan. Katherine doesn’t think she has anything in Fairview and she admits she hasn’t had sex in 2 years. Orson’s friend Peter arrives at Bree’s office. She moves from talking about catering his parents’anniversary to bringing up his anniversary; she learns he’s single. She’s to set up a sample dinner for him; as Katherine learns soon, it’s a blind date/work. Katherine will cook for him but won’t treat it like a date. But seeing him on Bree’s cell phone makes her reconsider this. Orson learns Bree set Katherine up with a client. He’s happy til he learns it’s Peter! Orson reveals Peter’s an ex-felon! Specifically, he’s a surgeon who trafficked organs! She calls Katherine to warn her. Katherine’s slept with Peter! Katherine’s grateful for Bree’s help. Katherine’s late for work. Bree has a drink ready for Katherine. Later, Katherine’s teary after learning about Peter having stolen kidneys from homeless people. Now Katherine wants to move as Bree’s so happy now and Katherine’s a needy idiot. She should be with family; Bree says she thinks of Katherine as her sister and cares about her deeply. Katherine’s happy upon hearing this. Katherine’s walking home as she sees Mike who’s back from a bad date. He wants someone he can have a cup of coffee with; Katherine suggests lemonade, and he accepts.
Carlos had become an expert at making woman happy as a masseur, Mary Alice tells us. One Wednesday afternoon, he made Mrs. Virginia Hildebrand happier than he intended. He talks with another masseur about having accidentally giving the woman an orgasm by touching her back. They check the tip the woman left and it’s a lot. He goes home and shows Gaby the tips but doesn’t explain it. Gabrielle finds Carlos outside with Mrs. Hildebrand. She’s enthused about Carlos’s magic hands and wants Carlos to consider a proposal to go to Europe for two months as her personal masseur for 100,000 dollars. Gabrielle’s excited! Carlos argues with Gaby about going. Gaby talks with Carlos’ masseur friend and wants to get Carlos’ boss to give him time off to join Mrs. Hildebrand in Europe. Gabrielle and the man talk and he admits what Carlos did for Mrs. Hildebrand! Gaby learns where Carlos is at -- at the woman’s home. Gaby storms past Mrs. Hildebrand’s housekeeper and is ordered to not join the woman. Gabrielle goes upstairs and watches as Carlos massages Virginia. The woman sees Gabrielle and sends Carlos out of the room. Mrs. Hildebrand is mortified when Gabrielle talks about the orgasm. Virginia talks about being lonely, estranged from her family, and in pain til Carlos’ touch healed her. Virginia talks about the European fashion and wants to take Gabrielle as her personal shopper! She wants to take Gabrielle’s girls too! Gabrielle agrees. Carlos comes back in as Gabrielle slips out, unseen.
Mrs. McCluskey’s in the hospital; Edie visits with flowers. Mrs. McCluskey claims new meds made her loopy but that she’s sleepy now. She wants to call her sister and stay with her for a while. When Edie leaves, McCluskey calls her sister and tells her to come over ASAP. Roberta, Mrs. McCluskey’s sister, shows up at the hospital. McCluskey tells her she’s facing a dangerous man. She needs to stay with Roberta and help her dig up info. She’s also brought McCluskey a cold beer. Roberta tells her sister that she pulled Dave’s phone records and discovered he’s hiding something.
The band -- Dave, Tom, Mike, Carlos -- ends practice for now. Dave and Mike talk for a bit. Dave wants to do more practices and is very enthusiastic when talking to Mike about it, but doesn’t have a good answer for why it’s so important to him. Dave’s at home; he wants Edie to see the band logo. He brings up his brother. When Edie wants more info, he talks about Steve getting caught up in drugs. He went to prison and was killed by another inmate who claimed self defense. Dave has his own way of dealing with the pain…
- The title comes from the name of a Stephen Sondheim song which was cut from the musical "Anyone Can Whistle".
- Although credited, Andrew Van de Kamp (Shawn Pyfrom), Preston Scavo (Max Carver), Parker Scavo (Joshua Logan Moore) and Penny Scavo (Kendall Applegate) do not appear in this episode.
- The shower scene between Susan and Darcy is homage to the iconic shower scene from the movie Psycho.