With So Little to Be Sure Of

Susan discovers that Mike had been hiding a secret from her for years, and Gabrielle discovers a sexy way to earn a bigger commission at her new job as a personal shopper. Meanwhile, while Lynette continues to try and win Tom back, his girlfriend Jane does everything in her power to ensure that the two carry through with their divorce. Bree attempts to hire a high-powered attorney when she becomes the prime suspect in the murder of Gaby's stepfather.

Plot[]

Previously on Desperate Housewives[]

	Renee had good news. Gaby's talent for shopping became an opportunity. Things heated up between Tom and Lynette. MJ and Susan began their recovery after Mike's death. The police questioned Bree and advanced their case.
Mary Alice Young

Renee approaches Bree, in the company of Ben, to announce their engagement. Bree is happy for them. ("Any Moment")
Gabrielle is shown shopping at Cumberly's, and later Lazaro offers her a job as a personal shopper there. ("Any Moment")
Tom and Lynette are having their (fake) impromptu dinner, in the dark, and are about to kiss when Tom's sleeve catches on fire by means of a candle burn. Lynette puts the fire out. ("Any Moment")
MJ finally lets his sadness over his father's passing, and Susan comforts him. ("Any Moment")
Detective Heredia questions Bree. ("Women and Death") Later, Detective Murphy tells him that Judge Kemp signed off on their warrant in regards to Bree. ("Any Moment")

Teaser[]

	When it came to throwing a bridal shower, Bree Van de Kamp believed that everything should be done with taste and dignity. There should be personalized party favors... delicate pastel flowers... elegant refreshments... and she insisted on traditional gifts, even if they received an untraditional response.

In a string of flashbacks, Bree is shown making all the preparations necessary for the bridal shower of Renee Perry, which is being held in the former's house. Later, in the present time, a bunch of ladies, including the titular housewives, are gathered at Bree's, as Renee less-than-excitedly opens her shower gifts.

Renee's bridal shower is a bit of a dud.

"What the hell? Mixing bowls?", she vents at Susan. "Nesting mixing bowls.", she says, to which Renee replies "Come on, this is a shower. Isn't there one gift over there that's, uh, you know, buzzing?" - clearly referring to a vibrator. Or not so clearly, one might argue, as Bree claims to have such the thing, but the gift she delivers Renee (which she claims to have started using herself and it 'gets the job done' much faster) turns out to be an immersion blender. "Now you can puree soups right in the pot.", says a cheery Bree. Renee asks if every gift is gonna be kitchen-related, and Bree points out that that's the theme she alluded to in the invitations. Renee says she might have to send someone out on a beer run, which prompts Lynette and Gabrielle to smirk. Bree disapprovingly tells her that if she's looking for that kind of shower, she's in the wrong place. Gaby pulls her aside and they go into the kitchen, where she reveals to Bree that she thought her party was gonna be lackluster, which is why she hired a male stripper. Bree is horrified, and the doorbell rings. Bree tells her male strippers are degrading, and she doesn't choose to be humiliated in her own house. She then begs Gaby to get rid of them, and thus she takes some dollar bills off of her cleavage and heads for the front door. She opens it to find Detective Heredia and two police officers stood on her front porch, claiming to have a warrant for Bree's arrest. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. She also has the right to remain horny. Listen, change of plans...", says Gaby, as she tries to slip the detective her cash. Heredia tells her to stand aside, and Gaby insists that he take the money... and tell the agency that "three dumpy strippers does not equal one hot one." Heredia and the officers walk inside the house and handcuff Bree, as she is under arrest for the murder of Ramon Sanchez. The ladies are shocked, and Bree tells them she's sure it's just a misunderstanding. Susan asks if there is anything they can do, to which Bree replies that she just put the mini quiches in the oven, so she asks them to take them out before they burn.

Bree is escorted out by the policemen, in handcuffs.

On this, and with a smile plastered on her face, Bree is walked outside in the company of the arresting police officers.

	Yes, Bree Van de Kamp believed in doing everything with dignity. Even in the most undignified of circumstances.
Mary Alice Young

The male stripper arrives to Bree's property, dressed for the job, and is surprised to find someone being taken under arrest. As she walks past him, Bree can't help but to stare reprehensively at the degrading stripper.

Act I[]

	Sometimes, no matter how much we plan, things don't turn out the way we expect.

In Bree's house, Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle are cleaning up the mess left behind by the bridal shower. At the same time, Bree is standing on the police station, handcuffed, as one of the arresting officers is filling a chart. She looks rather distressed.

	A sterling reputation... may become tarnished.

Gabrielle is seen picking up a tea set, polished to perfection, and over at the station Bree's handcuffs are being taken off.

	A clear explanation... might get messy.

Susan is shown cleaning up glasses in the kitchen sink, and Bree is seen having her fingerprints taken.

	An ideal arrangement... could fall apart in a flash.

Bree gets her mugshot taken.

Lynette picks up a flower arrangement, with sadness, and Bree is shown having her mugshot taken against a height chart.

	And one person may end up paying the price for a crime that everyone thought was shared.

Sometime later, Bree is seen walking home in the company of Bob, and the other three women are impatiently waiting inside, worriedly so. Bree and Bob enter the house, and they are relieved to see their best friend back. They get up from their seats and Susan asks her if she's okay, to which Bree replies that she is, thanks to Bob, who bailed her out. She is asked what happened and what they have on her, to which Bree replies that it's very little: Orson's ridiculous letter, which is inadmissible in court because he's gone, and a cryptic phone conversation which could easily be explained away. Susan is thankful, but Bob adds that they also have Bree's fingerprint on a button of Alejandro's shirt. The ladies are shocked. Bree explains that when they were wrapping him up in the tablecloth, she noticed that his shirt was unbuttoned. The gals are shocked that she tidied up the dead guy; Bree says she thought it was respectful at the time, and obviously she sees things differently now. She proceeds to sit down, and Susan says they're not gonna let her take the blame for this, to which Lynette agrees, because they're all in this together. However, Gabrielle is not so on board, because if they fess up Carlos could be sent to jail for life. The ladies don't agree that Bree should take the fall for them, and Gaby says they should just think this through, and

Bree assures the ladies that nothing bad will happen.

Bree begs them to stop, because nothing is gonna happen to her, as the police have no case. Bree then adds that out of all of them, she is in the best position to take this on at the time, as she has no job and no small children to look after. "But you do have a halo over your head.", says Lynette. Gaby agrees that it's incredibly generous of her, and Susan asks Bob if he swears he's gonna get her off. Bob tells them she needs a criminal defense attorney, and he knows the perfect guy, a real shark. "He's not cheap, but he's worth it." Susan says that they're gonna pay for it, and the ladies all nod affirmatively. Bree says they don't have to do that, and Lynette says there will be no arguing, as Bree is doing something huge for them. Bree thanks them but insists that nothing is going to happen. The famous Bree smile is then shown.

Detective Murphy is more determined than ever to catch Bree.

At the police station, an irate Detective Murphy is walking with Heredia, insisting that Bree is guilty, and that if she 'walks' he is gonna lose it. Heredia states that Murphy doesn't have to convince him, but a jury is a whole 'nother story, and there is no motive and no connection to the victim. Murphy tells him they're gonna have to find one then, and fast. Heredia asks him if he's sure he's not overreacting because Bree dumped his partner, and Murphy tells him he doesn't think Bree just dumped him... "I think she might be the reason Chuck's dead." He adds that they need to keep digging, and both detectives get back to work.

Gabrielle tries to keep her husband from confessing to his crime.

Inside the Solis household, Gabrielle has just told Carlos, in their bedroom, of what is going on, and Carlos gets ready to come clean, as he is not gonna let Bree take the fall for a crime that he committed, but his wife stops him, because he's already been to jail twice, and if he gets a third strike they're gonna put him away for life. She insists that Bree is not gonna go anywhere, as the evidence against her is very flimsy, and they're getting her 'some hotshot defense attorney'. Carlos asks who is, exactly, and Gaby explains it's the girls and her. They decided that, since Bree's in the hot seat, the least they can do is pay her legal fees. Carlos, worried, says he is all in favor of that, but how are they supposed to afford it? He reminds her that he just quit his job, and he does have a lead on a nonprofit, but it is hardly gonna pay anything. Gaby tells him to relax and sit down, which he does. Gaby reminds him that she's working now, and Carlos tells her he doesn't think personal shoppers make 'hotshot defense attorney money'. She insists that he keep his mouth shut and lie low until this Bree thing plays out, and Carlos says he wishes there was something 'he' could do. She tells him this is one of those times when the best thing one can do is do nothing.

Lee helps Susan get rid of some of Mike's stuff.

Susan is seen putting away some of Mike's stuff into boxes, spread out over their bed, and Lee is there to help her. He asks about Mike's suits, and Susan says she's giving it all away. "It's what Mike would've wanted." She then picks up a pair of Mike's shoes, saying she'll keep these, as MJ is always saying he's gotta fill daddy's shoes, and if she saves a pair then one day he will know that he did. Lee is almost brought to tears by this, as he puts two of Mike's suits away, and Susan notices and asks him if he's crying. He says no, but Susan comforts him anyway. She then asks him to grab the stuff on the shelf for her, which he does, as she takes off some of Mike's shirts. Lee picks up a light black box, which is locked, and asks her what it is. Susan says she doesn't know, as she's never seen it before, and says she'll grab Mike's keys. Lee tells her maybe her opening it is not a good idea, and she asks why not. Lee says "Because it's in your house, in your bedroom, but it's locked. So maybe Mike didn't want you to know what was in it." Susan says that's ridiculous, and Lee explains that he has a box like this in his house that he would not want Bob to see. "Why? What's in it? No. Don't answer that.", says Susan. She then says it's probably just papers and stuff inside the box, and Lee says she's probably right, but if it's something else she might not want to know. Susan asks what he suggests she do, and he suggests that she go and make herself a nice cup of tea while he opens it, and if it's just papers he'll tell her. If it's something else he will decide if she should see it. Susan isn't too keen on the idea, but Lee explains that he's just trying to protect her, as men have secrets. Susan says Mike didn't, and Lee points out that he kinda did - holding up the box to her.

Renee can't believe the cops in their town.

In Lynette's house, Renee walks into the kitchen, carrying a cake stand, and Lynette thanks her for bringing it over. Renee says she can keep it, and Renee asks who thinks a cake stand is a good gift for a bridal shower. Lynette says "Me. I gave it to you.", to which Renee replies, "Oh. Well, you owe me a less sucky present." She goes on to say she thinks they owe her a whole new bridal shower, because when the hostess is arrested for murder, it puts a damper on things. Renee then asks what is up with the cops in their town. First Ben, then Bree... Lynette says she's sure they'll straighten this out, and thanks her again for the cake stand. Renee asks what this is for, and Lynette explains she's making a cake for Tom's birthday the following day, and she is implementing phase two of operation 'Get Tom back'. Renee says, ironically so, that she guesses phase one was a success. Lynette explains it was great until Tom caught on fire and realized the entire evening had been a web of lies. But before that there was this moment that felt like they were 'Tom and Lynette' again. She could see in his eyes that he still loves her.

Jane wants Tom to deliver the divorce papers to his wife.

In his apartment, Tom is fixing his tie, when Jane walks up behind him and asks what he'd like to do for his 'big day'. He says they should just go out for dinner or something. Jane asks if that's it, as they could have a party. Tom tells her not to worry about that, as his kids are throwing him a little party Thursday. Jane then says they're gonna have to come up with some other way to celebrate - alluding to sex. Tom tells her that sounds good, but he then gets ready to leave, killing the mood. Jane asks him if he's forgetting something, to which he turns back and kisses her. "Thank you, but I meant your divorce papers.", Jane says. Jane jokes that as much as she has enjoyed sleeping next to them for the past three weeks, maybe they could their way to Lynette sometime soon. Tom tells her it's been so hectic at work he hasn't had a second to call the process server. Jane says anybody can deliver them, and suggest his assistant. Tom tells her he doesn't think that's appropriate. She says she could have a messenger, and Tom weasels off, saying it'll get done, he's just really busy at the time. She kisses him and says she loves him and looks forward to spending many more birthdays together. All Tom can says is that she is 'the best', and then rushes off for being late, saying he'll see her that night. Jane is left with the divorce papers in her hands, thinking.

Lee is reluctant to show Susan the contents of Mike's mystery box.

Susan is in her kitchen, having tea, when Lee comes down the stairs with the box and tells her Bob just called and he's gotta run. Susan stops him, asking about the box, and he says "Huh? The what?". "The box... that's in your hands?". Lee says he actually couldn't open it, and Susan reminds him that he was up there for 20 minutes. Lee tells her he fell asleep, and then he tries to rush off, but Susan stops him, asking if it is that bad. He begs her to listen to him: Mike is not defined by what is or isn't inside that box. Susan says she has a right to know, as she's his wife, and Lee gets it, but he's just trying to protect her. He begs her to trust him on this, and Susan, worried, opens the door and lets him go, silently.

Act II[]

Over at Cumberly's, Gaby is sitting on a chair, clearly bored, when a middle-aged female customer, Mrs. Howe, walks in. Gaby anxiously gets up and welcomes her to the personal shopping service. She asks if she can help with something, and falsely comments on how they have 'very similar taste'. The snobbish woman says that she always works with Margaret, and asks if she's there. Gaby comments that Margaret's sense of fashion is wearing one normal shoe with one clunky shoe. "She has a prosthetic leg.", says the women, appalled by Gaby's nerve. "And that's why she's my hero.", Gaby says, trying to redeem herself. The lady isn't convinced and walks away. Gaby, frustrated, turns to Lazaro and reminds him that he'd told her she'd be 'kicking ass' at this job. He tells her it takes time to build a client base, but in 5–6 months from then she'll be their top seller. Gaby says she doesn't have that kind of time, as she needs money quick. He explains that most of the ladies who come to the store already have a personal shopper. He suggests that she try the men's department, as he feels she'd be very persuasive there. Gaby jokes that she has always been able to get men to buy things for her, so it shouldn't be very hard to get them to buy things for her.

"These things are more persuasive when they're out."

Lazaro suggests that she wear something sexy, show a little cleavage, and maybe lose the wedding ring. He explains that guys tend to spend more when they think they have a shot with the hot saleslady. She says "Lazaro...", and he takes it all back, by saying it's demeaning and degrading and he shouldn't have brought it up, but Gaby stops him, because she's actually on board - she just wants to know if she should lose the jacket, as her breasts are more persuasive when they're out. Lazaro smiles and nods affirmatively.

Trip goes through Bree's basket of baked goods.

Bree is sitting in the office of Trip Weston, the hotshot criminal defense attorney Bob referred her to, when he walks in, talking on the phone. "I don't care what the D.A. says. There's no case. My guys's innocent." He stops and notices the basket of home-made muffins Bree brought for him. "Please stop calling it a body. It's a foot, an ear and a flap of skin." He puts his phone down for a while as he examines a muffin, and asks Bree if they have raisins, as they gross him out. Bree denies this. He then resumes his phone conversation, telling to whoever is on the other side that he has to 'go', as his 11 o'clock appointment has arrived. He heads for his desk and Bree follows him, grabbing her purse and her basket of muffins. He hangs up and apologizes for being late, to which Bree replies it's not a problem. He bites down on the muffin and tells her to call him Trip, and then comments on how the muffin is amazing. Bree tells him, not to brag, that she is famous for her orange-glazed muffins. He says that Bob did tell him she was an amazing baker, but not much about her case. As he sits down, Bree starts explaining that the whole thing is quite ridiculous, the police found a dead man at a construction site and they think that she killed him. Trip says that everyone's guilty until proven innocent, and that they must have something on her. Bree says they did receive a letter from her ex-husband claiming she did it.

Trip Weston hypothetically dismisses all the evidence against Bree.

Trip points out that that's nothing, as he clearly has a vendetta against her. "Yes, he does.", Bree says. Bree tells him that then there's a slightly more damning phone conversation during which she expressed remorse over putting a body in the ground. "Big deal. You were talking about... burying a dead pet.", says Trip. "I suppose I was.", Bree says. Bree, rather anxiously, then tells him the police also found her fingerprints on the dead man's shirt. He hypothesizes that she donated his shirt to goodwill. Bree is impressed, and tells the man that Bob was wrong, he's not good, he's amazing. "So you'll take my case?", she asks, which he promptly denies. Bree is surprised, and he says her case is 'kind of a snooze'. Bree reminds him she's been accused of murder, which means her life is on the line, but Trip won't budge, as he gets up and plays with a tiny basketball, saying that no jury in the world would convict a woman like her, and Bree tells him she would think a lawyer would enjoy defending an innocent client. Trip tells her he loves challenges, and the year before he actually defended a man who was found standing before his dead father holding a bloody knife, and he got him exhonerated and 50% of his father's estate. Bree tells him, with a disgusted look, that that's reprehensible. He says "Thank you." He then says her case is just too easy, as people who are famous for their muffins are generally not killers. He then bites down again on his muffin, and an indignated Bree gets up, picks up her basket, and then takes Trip's half-eaten muffin from his hand, puts it in her basket and leaves, saddened. Trip licks his fingers.

A middle-aged man, Alan, is walking around the store where Gaby works, when she spots him. This prompts her to remove her wedding ring and approach him. Seductively, she greets him and introduces herself, asking if she can be of any help. Alan says he's just trying to find the men's department, as he needs some socks. Gaby says she can help him with that, and she then puts her hand over his leg and slides it down as she crotches down to examine his ankle. She pulls his pants up a little, to reveal the ankle, and tells him his ankles deserve so much better. Alan says, rather nervously but flattered, that he always thought they were just regular ankles, but Gaby corrects him, saying they're exquisite. She taps the ankles and asks him if he works out. Alan tells her he does a little mall walking.

Gabrielle tries to persuade Alan to buy expensive items.

Gaby gets up and tells him he's got the perfect ankles for cashmere, which isn't something she says to every man. "Let me show you a few pairs.", she says, before walking off. Alan follows her, smiling. Later, he's sitting down, holding a glass of champagne in his hand and admiring a $40 pair of socks, surprised at their price. Gaby lets on that she realizes it's costly, "but there's just something irresistible about cashmere", she says, as she hands him a cashmere sweater, telling him not to buy one of those, otherwise she won't be able to keep her hands off of him.
Sometime later, Gabrielle is working her seductress magic on several male customers, convincing another middle-aged man who just needed a tie to get a blazer too. Then, she is shown persuading another man, whom she claims looks like George Clooney. He isn't sure, as it is too expensive, so she takes out her metric tape and suggests that she take another look at his inseam. The man is aroused.

Susan can't help but wonder what was in Mike's box.

That night, Julie Mayer is sleeping when her mother suddenly lies down behind her and says "What if it was drugs?". Julie's eyes open and she tells her mother "Seriously? I just fell asleep." She turns around to her mother and jokes that her baby has been working on her black belt. Susan reminds her that Mike had a drug problem, and adds that those things never go away. Julie is sure it was nothing like that, and Susan says "You're right." Susan then says it was probably porn, and she's cool with that, as long as it was nothing weird. "Oh, God... you think it was something weird?" Julie tells her mother to stop and trust Lee, because if he thinks she shouldn't see what's in the box, then she shouldn't want to see something that might tarnish her memories of Mike. Susan says she's absolutely right, and she should just leave it alone.

However, not much later, Susan is repeatedly knocking on Lee's door, and he opens it, angry, and she says she knows it's 2 in the morning, but she can't sleep and won't ever be able to sleep until she knows what's inside that box, so either he lets her in at that time or they can do this again at 3, and then at 4, and so on. He lets her in, and later they are sat at a table, with the box open. Lee takes out his passport, letters from his mom, a cute picture of Susan and MJ... and a cheque book. Apparently Mike set up an account eight years before, when he and Susan were divorced. Lee tells her every month since then he's written a check to some woman named Jennie Hernandez. Susan says she's never heard of her. She starts to grow concerned.

Susan is shown the drawings inside Mike's box.

Lee then takes out a piece of paper and says it's Jennie's address. It's somewhere in Mount Pleasant. Susan notices something else inside the box and takes it out. Drawings. One of a field of flowers, and the other one of a butterfly. Susan is surprised, and Lee asks if there is any chance those drawings were made by MJ. Susan denies this, and when Lee tries to come up with some hypothetical explanation, Susan stops him, as they both know what this is... "There's a child out there. Mike's child."

Act III[]

Lynette is seen batting a cake - green dough, really - as she goes to open the front door of her house, only to find Jane, in a fancy white suit, holding some books and documents. She greets Lynette, who doesn't greet her back, she just heads back inside the house, counting her batting swirls. Jane asks what she is doing as she lets herself in, and Lynette, between counts, tells her she's making Tom a cake. Jane starts wondering how old Tom is again, and guesses ("46? 47? 48?"), to throw off Lynette's count. She then goes on to say they have dinner reservations "at 7:15, or was it 7:16? 7.17?". Lynette tells her "nice try", but she is like Rain Man. This said, she finishes her count at a perfect hundred battings. She puts the dough down on the table, and Jane explains that she's there to deliver some stuff that Penny and Parker left at their place. Lynette thanks her, and jokes that they're making lab coats a lot tighter than they used to (referring to Jane's outfit). Jane fires back that they keep making sweat pants as baggy as always. Jane then explains she's not going to work, she's taking Tom to his favorite restaurant, because it's his birthday. Lynette says that's why she is making him his favorite cake, and Jane jokes that she shouldn't forget to add the 'eye of newt', because of its green color. Lynette explains to her that when she and Tom started dating, he wanted a red velvet cake for his birthday, but she only had green food coloring, and he liked it anyway. So it's become a tradition, one they have shared for 25 years. And she thinks they're gonna keep sharing it. Jane tells her to stop embarrassing herself, as Tom is through with her. Lynette tells her they have a family together, and one doesn't just throw that away. "Until you do", says Jane, as she takes out a folder from between the kids' school stuff.

Lynette messes up Jane's pretty white outfit.

Lynette asks what that is, and Jane says it's her divorce papers. Lynette is blown away. "Tom already signed them. Now it's your turn." Lynette stares at her in shock for a while... before throwing some dough at her, messing up her white outfit. She does this almost instinctively. Jane is shocked, and gasps. "What... the hell?" This said, Lynette throws some more batter at her. "Oh, my God!", Jane says, genuinely shocked by Lynette's childish responses. She lets herself out, aggravated, and Lynette is static in her kitchen, horribly shocked.

Gabrielle gets ready for work.

Gabrielle is getting ready for work, putting on her earrings, when Carlos walks in, whistles and tells her she looks beautiful. "Oh, you're just saying that because it's obvious." They kiss and Gaby starts heading off, but Carlos notices she's left her wedding ring behind, and points out that she forgot it. Gaby explains to him that it's better for business if she doesn't wear it, because she has a lot of rich men as clients, and if she flirts with them they buy more stuff and thus she makes more money. Carlos tells her he's not comfortable with her dressing that way and flirting with those guys, and Gaby tells him he has nothing to worry about, as they're just a bunch of nerds with money. After some goofing around, they kiss and she heads off. Carlos is still unsure...

Lynette confronts her husband about the divorce papers.

That night, Tom is in his favorite restaurant, L'Entrata Saperita, having a drink at the bar and checking his wristwatch. Behind him, Lynette shows up, looking for him. He notices her there and is surprised to see her. He asks her what she's doing there and tells her Jane's meeting him there for his birthday. Lynette tells him Jane is running a little late as she had some trouble with his cake, and she then shows him their divorce papers, saying "You signed these?". A surprised Tom asks her how she got those, and Lynette says "They were handed to me personally by your new roomie. Answer the question." Tom swears that he did not ask Jane to do this, but Lynette says it doesn't matter if Jane brought them. A waitress approaches them, but Lynette tells her Tom's gonna need a few more minutes. Tom tells his wife he's been caught a little off-guard, and asks if they can talk about this matter later. Lynette asks to confirm if that's his signature, and he confirms. She then asks when he signed it, and he says he doesn't know, a while ago. Lynette is surprised by his lack of clarity, as this is in regard to the dissolution of their marriage. "You think I don't know?", says Tom, "This is hard for me too, okay?" Lynette nods affirmatively, saddened, and he reassures her that he never meant for Jane to bring these papers to her. Lynette asks him to just tell what it is exactly that he is doing. He doesn't know what to say, and she asks if he wants to end their marriage. He doesn't answer again. Lynette is brokenhearted. And she grabs a pen and starts signing the papers. Tom doesn't stop her. He just stares, static. The deed done, she leaves.
In her car, Lynette sighs. She then reverses her car, as she wipes her tears, and is almost hit by an oncoming car, which honks. She halts, and apologizes through the window. She then sits back again and says "Sorry" once more. She then has a breakdown and continually says "Sorry", as she cries and bangs the steering wheel.

Act IV[]

Later that night, Tom and Jane make their way into their bedroom, and there is a lot of tension in the air. Tom angrily throws his divorce papers into a chair, and takes off his coat. Jane begs him to talk to her. She tries to explain herself, as much as she can, rationalizing that he was so busy she thought she'd be helping... she can't even finish her sentence accordingly, because Tom throws his coat to the chair, even more angrily. Tom, taking a stance, tells her, "On what planet is you serving my wife divorce papers a good idea?" Jane tells him she thought she was doing him a favor. Tom, undoing his tie, mocks her, though bitterly so, very close to lashing out at her. Jane then loses her composure, telling him she was doing it for 'them', them as a couple, as she wanted them to move forward, as she can't stand this "one foot in, one foot out thing" he has with his ex. Jane insists that's not what she signed up for, and Tom reminds her that he'd said he'd take care of the situation, but now is not the time. Jane tells him it's never the time until he makes it the time, and Tom bursts out that everything he and Lynette worked for is over.

Tom couldn't be angrier with Jane.

Jane explains to him that it's easy when one knows what they want, which shuts him up. She then gets teary-eyed and tells him she loves him, but if they are to be together, he's gonna have to stop thinking about Lynette's needs and start thinking about hers. Tom tells her he is always gonna care about Lynette, as she is the mother of his children. He adds that Jane has to decide whether she can live with that. He then walks away from her, and Jane is left to think about this.

Jennie Hernandez explains what the money was for...

The following day, Susan is seen standing outside the door of the known address of Jennie Hernandez. She prepares to knock, but then hesitates. Julie, who is standing beside her, tells her it's gonna be okay. Susan builds up the courage to knock, and Jennie opens the door for them. Jennie asks who they are, and Susan introduces herself as Mike's wife. Jennie tells her she is so sorry for Susan's loss, and Susan thanks her for her sympathy. Susan then tells her that what she needs from her, though, is an explanation, as to why Mike was sending her cheques every month. Jennie tells her the cheques were for Laura. Susan asks if Laura is Mike's daughter, and Jennie tells her... it's Mike's sister.

Julie and Susan are shown Laura... Mike's autistic sister.

Shortly afterwards, Susan and Julie are inside the house, talking to Jennie, and looking over at Laura Delfino, Mike's sister, who has autism, and who is seen painting what appears to be a bowl. Julie asks Jennie if this is a group home, and Jennie explains it's a home for autistic adults, and Laura is one of their more severe cases, as she can't speak. But she loves painting, and spends hours everyday at the table where she is sat. Julie asks if Mike ever mentioned having a sister. Jennie tells them Mike was great with Laura, and came by every Monday night to visit. Susan recalls that he would tell her he had softball. A phone is heard ringing, and Jennie asks to be excused, and leaves. Susan says that this is crazy, and Julie explains to her that this is good, because there is no other woman and no other child. Susan wonders why her husband wouldn't tell her he had a sister, and Julie says she doesn't know. Susan wonders if he thought he'd be upset about the money, because she wouldn't. Julie says she's sure he knew that. Susan can't help wondering why he hid this from her, asking herself if he thought she wasn't the kind of person that would accept Laura. Julie doesn't know what to say, and they are interrupted by a returning Jennie, who asks them if they would like to meet Laura. After a brief reluctance, Julie tells her, with a smile, that they would love to. Jennie and Julie head in Laura's direction. A frustrated and confused Susan takes her time, but ultimately follows them.

Detectives Murphy and Heredia are seen at a local resting place, chatting with the receptionist, Debi Brown. Murphy is telling her details of the man whom they're investigating, Ramon Sanchez, who must've stayed there about six months earlier. Mrs. Brown tells them information regarding the man could possibly be found in her 'treasure chest' - where she keeps items left behind by the clients. Apparently, her husband calls it 'hoarding', but she likes to think of it as simply collecting. The detectives engage in a pleasant chuckle, and Heredia thinks they're wasting their time, after the woman's gone. Murphy tells them that if the judge needs more connection between Mr. Sanchez and Bree, he'll find it. Debi shows up with a box, cheery, telling them she found it: "Room 208. Ramon Sanchez.", she says.

Murphy shows Heredia the map.

Debi hands them the box and leaves again, and Heredia thanks her, opens the box and starts searching its contents, handing a map and some magazines over to Murphy, and concludes there isn't much there. Murphy opens up the map and sees that Ramon circled "Wisteria Lane". He points this out, and Heredia tells him that doesn't connect the man to Bree, not directly. This said, Murphy takes out his pen and writes down 4354 under the circled name of the street, shows it to Heredia, and tells him it does connect them if Ramon was going to her address. Heredia is surprised.

Act V[]

Bree is shown the adulterated map...

Bree is sitting in the interrogation room over at the local police department, and Detective Murphy enters the facility. Bree tells him Bob should be there at any minute, and Murphy sits down and tells her she won't need her lawyer, as he just wants to share with her something that they found. Bree asks what it is as he slides her a document, and he explains that it was among Mr. Sanchez's things, and he wrote down her address on it. Bree can't make sense of this, and Murphy tries to get through to her that this goes too much farther and there is nothing he can do to help her, but if she comes forward and tells him everything that happened, things could go easier for her. Bree pauses, and then tells him she'll wait for her lawyer. She then asks if there is some place where she could get some water, and he tells her right outside she can. Bree gets up and leaves the room.

Bree looks anxious.

Trip Weston is at the police station as well, having a bit of an argument with the desk sergeant, telling her that his client's parole hearing is the following day at 10, and hinting that she probably doesn't want him telling the board that she couldn't find the documents he had requested. She apologizes and tells him she'll check again. "Don't check, find.", he tells her. The sergeant leaves, and Trip notices Bree by the watercooler, looking anguished with the glass on her hands, sighing, and he approaches her. Trip asks her if she's okay, and she tells him, with a courteous smile, that she thinks so. She adds that she's just waiting for Bob, and that they have found some other evidence and she's not sure what to make of it all. She enters the room again.

Trip Weston introduces himself as Bree's new lawyer.

Inside the interrogation room, Murphy, still sat at the table, tells her that he's trying to help her out, but there is a clock on the deal he made. Trip shows up at the entrance, and says, "You must hate being a detective, huh?". Murphy doesn't look pleased to see him. Trip goes on to say that even a rookie cop knows that to question a suspect without council present is a violation of their rights, and jokes that this might be Murphy's way of losing his gold shield, and he might just get lucky. Murphy states that they were just making small talk, while they wait for her lawyer. "Well, small talk's over.", he says, "I'm her lawyer." Murphy's grin fades. Trip tells Bree to leave, and adds that she doesn't need Murphy's permission. Trip then turns back to the detective and tells him that if he wants to talk to Bree, he should talk to him first. Bree bids the detective farewell and they both leave. Murphy gets up, none too happy.

Outside the interrogation room, as they head out of the station, Bree reminds Trip that he'd told her her case was too boring for him. Trip says it was, but he realized something that made it interesting: she might not have done it herself, but she knows who did. He opens the door for her, and Bree, anxious, gets out. He smiles and leaves right after her.

Gabrielle and Carlos are at a fancy restaurant and the waiter is giving them the menus. Gaby takes the whine list, and tells the man to bring her the check, as tonight it is her treat. Carlos looks at the list and tells her it's kind of pricey, and they should be saving for Bree's lawyer. Gabrielle tells him they are, but she's started doing really well at her job and thus she thinks they can afford one splurge. Carlos is unsure, but Gabrielle asks him to just enjoy this as she wants to do it for him. Carlos smiles and says he can do that, and as they lean towards each other for a kiss, a man calls out for Gaby. She pushes Carlos away as Jason makes his way to her. Gaby gets up as the attractive young man picks her up in his arms and Carlos is not happy to see this. He asks Jason who he is, and Gabrielle introduces him as one of her clients. She then introduces Carlos to Jason... as her 'brother'. Jason reaches out his hand at Carlos, who gets up and shakes it, none too happy. Gaby tells Jason to grab a chair and join them, which he does, and everyone sits down. Gaby gets out her wedding ring and slips it to Carlos, who gets even more infuriated.

Carlos isn't happy to see his wife with her customer.

Jason then takes the opportunity to tell Carlos that his 'sister' is quite the saleswoman, and just that day she convinced him to buy a $4000 suit. Gabrielle suggests that Carlos head to the bar and get them some drinks, but he tells her he's not thirsty. Jason then points out to Gaby that he's wearing one of the shirts she picked out, and asks her what she thinks. Gaby jokes that she can't tell him what she thinks in front of her brother. Carlos gets even madder. Jason asks Carlos how it is possible that someone as awesome as his 'sister' hasn't been 'scooped up' already. Gaby chuckles and Carlos says, "My guess is it's the herpes." Jason and Gaby are both shocked, and Gaby rubs this off as 'sibling humor' and gives Carlos a playful punch. Carlos then adds that she might be right, as all those trips to the free clinic could have been for anything. Gabrielle forcefully hints at him to go and get some drinks for the table, and Jason tells him that he'll take a scotch on the rocks, single malt. Carlos, having reached his limit, tells Jason he's gonna have to get that himself, as he's leaving, to go home to his wife, because he's married - which he makes clear by showing his ring to Gabrielle. He leaves, and Gabrielle is unsure of what to do.
Outside the restaurant, Carlos is waiting for the valet when Gaby comes near him and lashes out at him for having done that, as Jason is one of her best customers. Carlos asks if she's talking about that 'nerd' she sells to (an allusion to her comment that her clients are all nerds with money), and Gaby tells him that Jason might be better-looking than the others, but it's her job. "Fine. Whatever, let's just get out of here.", he tells her, and Gaby tells him he is a hypocrite, reminding him of all the times he asked her to show some cleavage to all his out-of-town clients. Carlos says that this is different and he doesn't like it, and Gaby tells him that's too bad, because they need this job, she's the bread-winner now.

Carlos and Gabrielle are both left frustrated.

Carlos then makes it clear that he doesn't like his current position, with her being the 'top dog', and Gabrielle tells him that it felt good that for the first time in so many years she could actually treat him to something. She says she can't believe that would bother him, and he tells her it does, that it is driving him crazy that she is the one making all the money and calling all the shots. She tells him to get used to it, because she did this all for him, it's what he wanted. The valet arrives with the keys and Carlos tells him to give them to her, as she's driving. He walks away, and Gaby takes the keys from the valet and looks gloomy.

Act VI[]

Susan reads an excerpt of Adele's last letter to Mike.

The following morning, Julie is sitting at the dinner table in her house, reading a letter, when Susan, in her robe, comes down the stairs and comments that she's up early. Julie tells her she's up late. She then explains to her mother that once in college she wrote a letter to Mike telling him how horrible Susan is. The two women had just had a fight over the phone and she needed to put her anger somewhere. And when she was told Mike had kept some old letters in his box, Julie decided to check and see if hers was there too. And instead she found some letters written to him by his mother, Adele. It turns out Susan wasn't the only one kept in the dark about Mike's sister, as he didn't even know she existed till eight years before. Apparently, Mike's parents weren't up to the task of raising Laura. Julie hands her mother the letter and her mother reads an excerpt of it out loud.

	(...) So yes, Michael, I am ashamed of myself and I live with that decision everyday. But life with your father was always hard, and keeping Laura would have been an inconvenience that might have destroyed everything.

Julie points out that this was the last letter Adele wrote Mike. Susan goes on reading.

	And so now you know the worst secret of my life. But I beg of you, let it remain a secret. Your beautiful new family... is one of the only joys I have. Don't let them know the kind of person I really am.
Adele Delfino

Once Susan is done reading, Julie explains to her that Mike wasn't keeping a secret from his wife, he was doing it for his mother. Susan then says she knows what Mike would've wanted her to do. She is gonna keep writing those checks and she is going to keep Laura in her life. Susan gets up, surprised at the fact that her mother-in-law had to live with all of this on her conscience. Julie starts getting emotional. Susan starts wondering how one does something like that, how one gives away their child just because it's inconvenient. Julie starts sobbing and Susan realizes what has just happened. She takes her own words back, saying it's not like that with Julie, but her daughter acknowledges that it is.

Julie tells her mother that she is keeping the baby.

"All the stuff I've said about being pregnant... that I'm not ready... or that I'm not sure I'd be a good mom... it's all bull. What this baby really is to me is inconvenient." Julie can't hold back her tears. Susan doesn't know what to say, and Julie tells her she's been thinking about this all night, and she doesn't want to make a decision that she is going to be ashamed of for the rest of her life. She can't and won't live with that. So she is goning to keep her baby.

	Yes, in life we all make plans. But sometimes, they don't turn out the way we expect it.

Susan starts wiping her daughter's tears and offering consolation.

	By trying to help out, we may damage a relationship.

Gabrielle, at her job, takes the wedding ring off her finger and puts it in her pocket.

	By attempting to reach out, we may push someone further away.

Lynette is seen storing the cake stand on her kitchen shelf, looking frazzled.

	By digging into the past, we may enrich our present.

Susan is seen at the care home, handing Laura a bowl that she proceeds to paint.

	But then there are those who refuse to let go of their plans, no matter how badly they're turning out.
Mary Alice Young

Detective Murphy isn't giving up just yet...

Murphy is seen sitting at his desk, working through some paperwork, when Heredia shows up behind him and asks if he can buy him a beer, as he figured he could use one. Murphy asks why, and Heredia reminds him that Trip Weston is taking over the Van de Kamp case, and he won't quit till he gets what he wants. Murphy says neither will he. He then suggests that Heredia buys him that beer when the 'bitch' goes to jail. Heredia leaves and Murphy keeps working away.

Production[]

This episode was directed by regular assistant director Tara Nicole Weyr, marking her 3rd directing credit with the series, and written by executive producer Marco Pennette, marking his 6th writing credit.

Reception[]

This episode was watched by a total of 8.49 million viewers on its original American broadcast, attaining a 2.6 rating in the key demo (ages 18–49).^[1]

The overall appreciation of this episode by the series' fans is positive, despite some sporadical negative criticism, particularly of the repetitive plot points.^[2]

Hypnotoad, recapper/reviewer for TVGasm.com, was critical of this episode, with his conclusion reading "I liked last week’s episode, but this one was pretty much a detour through Sucktown on the way to Meh-ville State Park." ^[3]

Daniel Sperling, for Digital Spy, had mixed feelings regarding the episode, saying "So, pretty much business as usual there on Housewives, with some bits working and some bits flopping. Tom and Lynette were great again, Susan's life after Mike continued to intrigue and some of the neglected characters got a bit more to do, but Gabby's working girl storyline and the bloody body thing still kind of limped about at the back." ^[4]

Bloopers and Continuity Errors[]

Bob makes it clear in this episode that he is not a criminal defense attorney. However, that impression was given in earlier seasons when he defended characters such as Porter Scavo, Danny Bolen and Susan Delfino after they'd been charged with felonies.
When Bree is telling the ladies she is in the best position out of all of them to take on the investigation brought on by the police, Lynette is caressing her arm, looking down. However, in the next immediate shot, when she tells Bree she has a halo over her head, her own head is immediately looking right up at Bree.

Trivia[]

The title of this episodes comes from a song of the same name taken from the Stephen Sondheim musical, Anyone Can Whistle. A different version of the song had previously been cut from the same musical, and was never commercially released.
Although credited, James Denton (Mike Delfino) is absent from this episode.

Quotes[]

“

[Gabrielle opens the door of Bree's house to Detective Heredia and two officers.]

Heredia: Bree Van de Kamp? We have a warrant for your arrest.

Gabrielle: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She also has the right to remain horny. Listen, change of plans...

Heredia: Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to stand aside.

Gabrielle: Just take the money and go. And tell the agency three dumpy strippers does not equal one hot one.

”

“

[Gabrielle intercepts Mrs. Howe at Cumberly's.]

Gabrielle: Welcome to Cumberly's personal shopping service. Can I help you with something? I see we have very... similar... taste.

Mrs. Howe: I always work with Margaret. Is she here?

Gabrielle: Oh, you don't want Margaret. Her idea of fashion is wearing one normal shoe and one clunky shoe.

Mrs. Howe: (appalled) She has a prosthetic leg.

Gabrielle: And that's why she's my hero.

”

“

Carlos: You know what, I'm not comfortable with you dressing like that and flirting with those guys.

Gabrielle: Oh, honey, you have nothing to worry about. They're just a bunch of nerds with money. This just helps. "You can't dress for church if you wanna move the murch."

Carlos: (smiling) Gaby.

Gabrielle: "You gotta shake your rear to get them to buy the gear."

Carlos: Gaby...

Gabrielle: "You wanna sell some knits, you better flash your..."

Carlos: (annoyed; interrupting) Gaby! I got it.

Gabrielle: Too bad, I have like fifteen more.

”

“

Jason: Hey Carlos, how is it possible that someone as... awesome as your sister hasn't been scooped up already?

[Gabrielle chuckles]

Carlos: My guess is it's the herpes.

”